Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
