Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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