i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
