I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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