big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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