It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
