Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
