you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
