kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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