I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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