just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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