I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
