I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
40s are totally the cure
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
