Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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