Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im holly from the hills drunk
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
