shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
