I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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