Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
