i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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