people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
