I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
