the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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