he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize