with your own penis?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
