Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
