I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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