i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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