Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
