real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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