But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize