When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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