i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
