we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
