Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
