belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is Oprah even human
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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