when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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