It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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