What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
