the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
