making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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