Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
