you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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