dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
