there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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