so explain again why im purple
no
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
