she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
