last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
