i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
