i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
