How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
