It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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