This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
