Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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