toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
