She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
