Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
