What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
